Friday, January 11, 2008

Day 5

Ok that's it. I can't take it anymore. I surrender. The 5 day monstrously huge headache and the ass blasting trips to the loo? I am DONE. NO MORE. I need my sugar. I need my milk. I am finito. Screw you Wild Rose Cleanse. You beat me.

I am so going to make a proper coffee. Right now.

Oh. My. God. Or as my Dad would say "Nectar of the Goddamned!" Coffee the way nature intended it. Full of milk and Splenda* is a thing of beauty.

So as not to make this a full on failure, there are some things I learned from the Wild Rose Cleanse.

-I like MILK.
-Laxative herbs (LAXAHERB!) makes your colon go BOOM.
-Brown rice is pretty darn good.
-Anything that depletes your energy, gives you a 5 day headache and makes you poo.. is usually a flu or food poisoning. Why I paid to feel like this? I DON'T KNOW.
-My usual diet is pretty darn good too.

I don't reckon this is for me, but you hardier souls (Dana!) keep on keepin' on. Me? I'm getting a cheese pizza for dinner and calling it even.

*Irony yes?


Heather said...

I was warned about the Wild Rose Cleanse sending you into a "healing crisis" which is the healthfoodies' way of saying making you feel like crap, and having the worst flu ever!! It's the herbal laxative, too strong!!! You can do the Wild Rose Cleanse by just doing the diet, no herbs, and you will still be cleansed and lose weight. I lost 8lbs. with just the diet!

This cleanse that I am doing is actually not bad. No flu like symptoms, I just find I have to pee a lot at night, and "eliminate" in the morning. Really not too bad.

Good luck if you ever try it again, you should be absolutely proud of yourself for making it even 5 days, that's awesome!!


granolagirl said...

I lasted 7, and since Rob and I did it together, we couldn't stand living together if we didn't stop after day 7 because we were both so miserable. I've decided I'm not a big fan of the laxaherbs either. We are just eating whole foods this time and trying to cut down on sugar. I think making better lifestyle choices is better than trying to make up for your lifestyle choices twice a year.

dana said...

Am I the only person who didn't experience the KABOOM from Laxaherb? How odd... I either have a squeaky clean colon (not likely... seeing as I love me my sugar and dairy), or it's completely unresponsive to the evils of laxaherb.

Good for you for lasting so long! Now you can revel in your delicious coffee. It will never have tasted so good! ;)

I second the diet comment above, though. I kept with the meal plans alone for 3 or so months (no herbs), and I lost an incredible 15 POUNDS!! Considering I didn't even know I had 15 pounds to lose, I think that's pretty good (in a gentle, non-kabooming way!)

Anonymous said...

LOL I found this blog by accident! Anyway don't stop!!! I am on day 6 and feel great. I found I really love soy lattes and I am also a huge coffee drinker with full cream & sugar. Soy milk foams great and so what if I put in my black coffee ;)!!

So go to Starbuck and try a soy latte??!! if you like go buy one of those little froathers. I cannot give up coffee either!!

Anonymous said...

lol just realized this is from 2008!!!

karen said...

omggggg you got me rolling on the floor dying! i could read you write about detoxes all day hahahha