Friday, January 03, 2014

My heart beats so, it scares me to death....

I can't believe I have ignored you for so long. This year seems to have dripped by in a swirl of non things. I did almost make it a whole calendar year with a death, but nope. One of my oldest friends didn't make it out the year. A fallen brother in arms, gone too young. A reminder of that black dog, and a call to shore up the walls. I'll miss you dear Jeff, your quiet sweet soul that hurt too often. And another dear friend lost one of her kitties last night. Sadness taints so much happiness. We worried for our Pickle dog all this winter, he is afflicted with newly found arthritis (or arfritits!) and a slowdown that comes with age. Despite what our vet said we have found that baby aspirin is helping the most.

As for me, oh fuck, about me. I am the fattest I have ever been. With no real noticeable diet change (aside form some holiday noshings) I have plumped up. I used the scale yesterday and all it made me do was think about the Smash the Scale project. And maybe cry a little bit. I have better clothes, better fashion (ha!) sense and a better handle on things than when I was thin. But I struggle. All awake/aware women do. I tell myself this in fits and starts.

New Years Resolutions? Stretch more. Yup. I do hope you all had a happy whatever it is you celebrate. And that Shiva the god of death stays the fuck away for another year. xxoo