licorice rainbows ain't always fallin' at my feet......

As part of my ever expanding list of hobbies/shit I like to do, I am trying my hand at some new to me stuff.

 It's pretty gratifying to pop out a finished product in an afternoon.

Of course I do need to mount them, and deciding on that is fairly tough, hence all the loose bits of paper all over the house.


I can almost feel spring on it's way. Despite the giant piles of snow that come and go, and the enormous amounts of little doggy foot prints that dot my white kitchen floor (again I ask, WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?) I can almost see the spring. We've kept our red Christmas lights up on our front window, and while I do love them, I think I need to pull them down and get something lighter up there. Oops, I just remembered, we bought new windows this weekend. And while they won't be in for 4-6 weeks, I reckon the lights should still come down and make way for a brighter room. Also: I won't be doing any window washing. Why bother?

Maybe next year .... maybe no go

How I love finding old music to revitalise my playlist (right now named kittykatboogie, fuck I have got to re-name that) when it gets stale. The whole Duran Duran catalog? Brings back memories of goofy dances and head movements not done since I was in gr 10. Muscle memory is pretty amazing isn't it? I'm trying to learn the concertina, and have learned 4 whole songs (terribly) that include such crowd favourites as Frere' Jacques. Don't expect my greatest hits just yet.

 Being alone is something I've been dealing with for sometime now. It's not usual for me to spend so much time by myself, Chris and I are constant companions. I know how lucky I am. I actually really enjoy my own company (and the dogs of course, they make me less crazy when I'm talking to them not myself right??) and have a myriad of ways to entertain myself. I love the thrill of new hobbies, the newness not rubbed off by familiarity. I have some new things I'm trying out (besides the concertina) to see what sticks. I do love my fibre stuff, but am having some RSI issues. Exacerbated by my gaming habit. I mean who the fuck gets video game elbow? Me. le sigh.

I've discovered I love reading crafty blogs, I have even got a little book beside the compy to write down the stuff I want to copy/imitate/rip off so I don't forget them. It's even more awesome when I remember actually to use it

I'm having some fibro shit lately, and some things my sweet seeester in law calls "stinkin' thinkin'" are creeping around my mind-head-brain. I'm doing my best to kick them to the curb and an infusion of 80's tunes is a good non-medicinal way to start. Blargh I am tired of this whiny bullshit.

This year I am intending to keep my hair one colour for the whole year (not done since I was maybe 13 or 14 SO LIKE 30 YEARS OMG OLD) so I have wisely chosen pink. It's fucking amazing how many people feel the need to comment on it. Little old ladies LOVE it. Like I had a rinse accident. People who I never would have thought, come right up to me to tell me how much they like it. Never a bad thing to get strokes from strangers. DIRTY. Also, I'm trying to keep a gratitude journal beside my bed. Every night I force myself to write something that I am thankful for/is awesome/why my first world problems are so truly minimal in the grand scheme of things. Some nights are much harder than others to actually find something. I need some re-assessment skills stat. :/

Happy Valentines Day to everyone who reads this. Remember that you are loved, you are beautiful and you are amazing. You really are.

Drinking white wine in the sun.......

This is my first Christmas with no parents. A true Christmas orphan. I've not been big on Christmas for a while now. I have my reasons, I really do. This year feels different. Lonelier. I have no Mum or Dad to brainstorm the perfect gift for. So I keep buying stuff to keep that feeling at bay. Like I can buy my way through this season into the new year. Which I imagine will be all bright and shiny and full of happy, even though I know it will look just like the day before.

Don't get me wrong, I have my tiny family here, to keep me full of cheer. Hey! That rhymed! And I have an invite to see all my other huge family that I don't know at all, who would be really happy to see me, which is weird, but I think is cool. I'm so blue though, I don't want to infect anyone else with that colour. It seems terribly contagious, so I back out of things I should be moving forward into. Time moves by so quickly yet drags on into minutes.

I miss my Dad. I miss my Mum. I miss Max. But time will march on, and even though it's hard to see this keyboard that has suddenly gone all watery and blurry, I know I will feel better eventually. My Husband and Son will help with that. But right now I feel like a little kid.

I'll do it my way

10 rules helpful suggestions for living the good life.

1. Don't hold grudges. If it's about something you can't resolve you can either let IT go, or let the relationship go. Nothing is worse than letting jerks live rent free in your head.
2. Travel. Even if it is in your own backyard. Go somewhere new. try some food you haven't tried. Go be a tourist unashamedly.
3. Say yes to opportunity. It's easier to say no to things that are slightly (or hugely) new and a little scary.
4. Say no to things that make you unhappy. Don't make lame excuses, just politely but firmly decline.
5. Walk somewhere. Go look at trees and flowers or even other people at least once in a while. 
6. Do something nice for someone else. Hold a door, buy some flowers, pay for the guy behind you in lines coffee. 
7. Have a pet. Even a fish or plant Talk to them. Give some love, get some love. 
8. Have a hobby. Collect stamps, knit, do Sudoku, do something you enjoy every day.
9. Make something by hand. Doesn't matter how small, make it with your own digits. 
10. Walk around with a smile on your face. A positive outlook becomes a habit when you do this. Try not to look too deranged. A small Buddhist half smile is a good start.  

 BONUS SUGGESTION
          Fake it until you make it.

These are of course only as helpful as you want them to be. Your mileage may vary.

I'm cool, I'm calm, I'm gonna be OK.

I don't make New Year Resolutions. Never have, don't think ever will. BUT: this year I did do something rather out of character for me. I made a plan. A plan to become 10% more awesome by next year. Now that seems pretty loosey goosey right? Well tough tits, it is. I'm going to try to start a list of things I have done to try to achieve that rather gossamer pledge. And since I am stupid enough to forget to do this from the beginning of the year, this will be in no particular order and will encompass mine and everybody else recollections of it. 



-took candy to a pal who needed it. Really needed it. Dumb right? I doubt I would have done this a year ago. It would have gotten pushed to the "man I should have done that!" pile.

-found out my Barista's names. Besides Joel that is. I love them all those boys of coffee.
-ran up when my brother was struggling at my Dad's funeral and finished his eulogy for him. I wish I done it earlier, but the point is that I did it.
-learning more about being a Vegan from my sweet Christine that doesn't include me going on about butter. I have made leaps and bounds with this.
-self hair care. I used to do this, but have stopped in these many years. Now I am trying to go a full year without pro help with a fairly fresh (shaved it bald Jan 1) palette. Which is why I now have a half shaved head with hot pink hair. No way would Tam let me do this. On a different note, I think I should have been born with pink hair.
-learned to walk away NOT mad. Letting go of anger in the heat of it, is something I am really working on.
-learned to cross stitch again.Nasty sweary cross stitch. Oh yeah.
-set unloved fibre and yarn loose in the world for others to love. More of this to come too.

this is a work in progress.....

There is always something there to remind me....

More Dad memories

-he and my Uncle Jim got drunk setting up my dollhouse for my 3rd Christmas. My Mum was worried that it wouldn't be done, but it was. Santa drank ALL the Rye and ginger that year!
-he bought Birkenstocks when we first moved to Calgary and he came for a visit. He still had them when we were cleaning out his place last month. He also had shoes he got from my Uncle Jim when he died 20+ years ago. Oh Pops, shoe hoarder extraordinaire!





It was Lily's arbitrary birthday this last Canada Day. We had no idea when her b-day was just somewhere around then, so it seemed fitting to make it a holiday. Happy 3rd my girl!

I'm on the right track, I'm onto a winner...

Things I want to remember about my Dad.

-he got tossed out of the church he went to when we was 15. he hated churchy hypocrits.
-he loved liver. my mom wouldn't cook it, so he got it when he went out to eat.
-he went to the playboy club when he went to NYC. he bought my mom Gucci perfume, he said it smelled like money.
-he used to read the paper on the floor letting me sit on his back. that is why I learned to read when I was three. he loved the comics, or funnies as he called them. even the terrible ones.
-he grew kohlrabi in our backyard in Aldergrove. I haven't eaten it since.
-he got bit by a dog and that's how he started his desk duty on the ECP. he ended up climbing way up the ladder.he was NOT a yes man. that means he only got so far up.
-he took me to inappropriate movies when I was young. funny ones. he also loved sword and sandal flicks. the last one we went to see together was Beastmaster.
-he had a wicked sweet tooth.
-he loved my mom from the minute he saw her. the very minute.
-he was far cooler than he had any right to be. he was the best dad I could have asked for.

Raindrops keep falling on my head

That doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red. Right? I've starting watching all the "classic" movies from the 70's. I'm not alone in thinking the 70's were a bleak depressing black hole of decade right?  Not unlike this one. I jest I jest. The song up there is the first one I ever learned all the lyrics to. I was maybe 2. My Dad loved me to sing it. Seeing this movie brought me back to then. Think good thoughts for my Dad right now internets, he's slipping away I fear.

But there's one thing I know:
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me.
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me.

right?

Prairie Bistro Review -St Albert AB

We had the occasion to have a meal at the Prairie Bistro as a part of a wedding. The groom assured us he had never had a bad meal there and we were very excited at the prospect. We had a 3 course meal to look forward to!

 We sat down at 6.30 and had our drink orders taken quite promptly. I don't drink but my 2 companions at our table did. They were brought out quite quickly. My one companion was surprised the tequila he ordered was of the bottom shelf kind, but since he didn't specify what he wanted perhaps that is their default. Our server came by to take our dinner choices soon after but when asked if anything had come into contact with nuts (one of us has a terrible nut allergy) or had nuts in it she was flummoxed and just read/looked at the menu and replied it "looked like nothing has nuts in it, but wasn't too sure". No offer to find out, or check with the kitchen to ascertain the nut free status so it looked like we were on own at this point. My friend, buoyed by lots of post wedding drinks and a brand new EPI pen in his pocket decided to throw caution to the wind. Fortunately, it didn't happen that he needed it, but seriously? In this day and age who doesn't know about allergies? Especially the kind that kill you? Hmm.

For our first course we had all chosen the Creamy Forest Mushroom soup. It came at about 7.15 by which time we were all pretty famished. The soup was good, not terribly creamy, more of an emulsion of mushrooms, but it tasted quite nice. Our plates were cleared quickly and we were asked if we wanted more drinks. Since our party was quite small (I think there were about 20 adults and a table of kids) the restaurant was open for regular dining at the same time. We had 4 dedicated servers for our party and were spaced out into tables of 3 or 4 with the exception of the head table. The rest of the space wasn't busy at all. I think there were maybe 5 or 6 other tables in the whole time we were there. I make these notes to indicate that this was in no way a slammed Saturday night where everyone is in the weeds. It was QUIET in there. 

Our entrees made their way to our table about 8.30. That time in between was spent being asked if we wanted more to drink from the bar, and not refilling my water. Two of us had ordered the Rose Ridge Beef Tenderloin with roasted garlic potatoes, asparagus & mushrooms with red wine jus, and one was having the Roasted Chicken Supreme with toasted barley risotto, grilled green apple and dark chicken jus. When we ordered the beef we were advised that it would be medium rare. My favourite! We all tore into our food, really excited (and HUNGRY) to eat what looked to be a great meal. The first thing I do is to take a bite of everything to plan my attack. The asparagus was excellent. Crisp and buttery. The potatoes were mashed not roasted, and were completely drenched in horseradish which wasn't indicated on the menu anywhere. I'm not a fan of horseradish so those were segregated to the side. The beef itself was blue rare, which while I'm not crazy about is ok, and since we had been waiting for this course for over an hour there was no way I was going to send it back. I need food NOW. I guess the blue rare meat would explain why it was cold, but so was the rest of my plate. And both of my friends too. The one who had the chicken said it was ok (it looked very pink to me) but he'd still rather have a good diner burger., I noticed he left all his risotto to the side. I tried to eat as much of the tenderloin as I could, but the center 2 inches were bloody and cold and I ended up leaving them on my plate too. Our plates were cleared and since no one had quality checked us during our meal I thought our waitress would have asked if everything had been ok seeing all the food left on the plates. I know I could have said something right then, but come on, this was a wedding, I didn't want to be "that guy". Besides we were having a good time with or with out the food. 

Our desserts came out at 9.30. The boys had chosen Lemon Meringue cheesecake when the Pumpkin one on our menu wasn't available. I chose the Rosemary and Lemon Creme Brulee. The waitress brought out the cheesecakes and a berry crumble. When I informed her I hadn't ordered that she dropped the dish down onto our table and proceeded to go through her bills to see what was ordered. When she found ours, she said she be right back with the right order. I did try the boy's cheesecake and while it was light and fluffy I found it overly sweet, with no real lemon flavour. We had better cheesecake earlier that day at the Second Cup in West Edmonton Mall. The boys agreed and one of them left most of it on his plate. The waitress came back about 10 minutes later to tell me my order would take a few more minutes. The boys were finished by this point but were happy to wait to get mine. At 9.50 she brought my brulee out. It had these awesome pear jelly cubes with it that were pretty and tasted just like a fresh Bartlett pear! The brulee itself was quite silky and creamy. The rosemary flavour did nothing for me at all, and I left most of it. It was an interesting idea, but I think something like lavender or rose would have been much nicer. Too much savoury in that sweet was just plain weird. These dishes were never cleared off our table. We were offered coffee or tea but declined.

We decided almost 4 hours in this place was enough and wanted to get our bill and leave. This was a prixe fixe menu for 55$/person. We had to physically chase a waitress down to get our bill, which is ridiculous. The service was absolutely atrocious throughout our meal unless it was coming to the table to see if wanted more from the bar. The food was mediocre at best and at worst was inedible. The place itself is really pretty, and quite modern. The chairs could have been comfier for the time we spent in them, but I hope that was an aberration. I would never recommend this place for it's food or service. The 16% gratuity was added on, and was a joke based on our lack of service, It was an unfortunate end to a lovely wedding.

Futures made of virtual insanity......

 Every night in Harper-ville. Poor dog.

This year has caused a paradigm shift in my life. I have become addicted to something. Something I thought would never happen. Addiction happens only to the weak I thought. People who are enabled, and have no self control, but then it crept in. Slowly, day by day it chipped away at my soul, weakening me. Then one day I realised, I am one of those. The addicted. I game therefore I am.

 Hi tech!

You know, it wasn't like I had never gamed before, it's always been part of my life. Jake grew up with me playing Sonic while he was on my lap. I have amazing fond memories of playing Wizard, Jumpman and Ghostbusters on my Dad's Commodore 64. Hours, wasted (me too sometimes!) grinding those archaic levels. But I had always been able to walk away and go to something else.

 Contents may not appear as on cover. 

I'm skuuuuuured!!!!

I also have an awesome time watching (DIRECTING) Chris play games like Dragon Age, Silent Hill, Eternal Darkness, Final Fantasy 7 and all those beautiful games that aren't 2 player. I liken them to interactive movies, where I get to scream "TURN ON YOUR FUCKING LIGHT!!!!" and have the character (Chris) do what I say for once! These have provided me with thousands of hours for over more than a decades worth of enjoyment. They have made me cry, laugh, shriek, jump, and swell with emotions I hardly knew what to do with. They have affected me as much as any movie I've ever watched. They are a completely different experience and aren't nearly as passive as say, watching TV or movies. I love this way of "gaming".

Completely true. 

!!!

SHUT UP.

But sometime this year something changed. A switch was flicked. I was getting dangerously close to the edge. Dancing on the razor thin line of casual user. Then it happened. We went away for a little holiday. 4 days, 3 nights of Vancouver Island fun. It was great! A vacation that left me actually relaxed. All but for one thing. I MISSED MY PS3 AND XBOX ALMOST AS MUCH AS MY DOGS AND KID. Ok, who am I kidding. IT WAS MORE. I talked to Jake everyday, but I had NO GAMING. Nothing on my Android phone filled that need. OH GOD THE HUMANITY.

 Guiscard is useless. Srsly.

I have suffered for this need. I have endured buggy as shit games (I'm looking at you War In The North), terrible lag, sore thumbs, wrist strain and considerably less knitting (try knitting AND gaming. It's a damned if you do/don't scenario for sure) content. I have skipped social outings, lost sleep and had many game inspired dreams. I have found out that sometimes a 14$ game from the PSN is better than a 60$ game supported by a major studio (ahem WITN AGAIN) and I'll still play them both. Over and over. And over. Frustration, brilliance, actual high fives with my husband and rage quits. All parts of daily life.I wouldn't trade it for anything. Nope. Now if I could just find the time to finish that knitting....

I game therefore I am.

A song for the dumped

It's never a bad time to clean things out.  Start with your closet, You know you'll never fit in those jeans again no matter how much you wish you could. Just go buy some new pants dammit. Those shirts you haven't worn in forever? Donate them. Someone else will love them. Move on to your pantry. Holy shit that yeast for the bread you were gonna make expired in 2010! Oops. Get rid of spices that have had a label change or lost their zip. 2 year old cereal? TOSS THAT FUCKER. Move on to your fridge. Seriously people, just because it's kept cold it can still go off. Check condiment dates. You may end up eating slightly rancid salad dressing if you don't. Anything that is green that ain't celery? BIN IT. A clean fridge is a beautiful thing.

This is spurred on by the need to clean up and clear out that I periodically go through. It extends to Facebook. It's time to prune that too. Anyone you wouldn't want to talk to IRL for less than 5 minutes, clip! If you are keeping peeps around because you like to watch their drama? Dude, your life is better off without it. I have to tell you, that lecture-y tone is the voice of experience here.

I had a friend once, that no one liked. Not my family, not my other friends and not a single guy I dated. I always felt bad about that and glossed over it. Rooted for the under-dog so to say. We had been friends for so long, and were in that weird highschool way very very bad and ever so fun. We had gone through so much shit that I think I felt I owed it to the universe to stick it out. Like blaming the salad greens when you know damn well it's that goddamn dressing you can't bring yourself to toss.

We didn't even always live in the same city this girl and I, but when we did or when we were together it was like knowingly eating a green weenie to see what happened and I was the green weenie eater (PHRASING). I usually ended up sick, hurt and still nowhere near my goal weight. The last time I saw her was when her Dad died and I went back to my hometown for the funeral. We went shopping with her 8-9 year old daughter a couple of days later and I had the proverbial nail in the coffin experience. We went to the bog and while her kid was in the stall she calmly pulled out almost 2k worth of stuff she had stolen and showed it to me. I said nothing (eating greenies again) but after that trip I never saw her again. I think we may have had a phone call or two and we never did break up officially. Never had it out, never finalised the papers, nothing. I just stopped. It felt weird for a long time, but that feeling? It was clean. It was pure and it was the beginning of me taking care of me. Cleaning out the fucking fridge once and for all.

Brown sugar.. why do you taste so good?

Serious Lemon Muffins. SERIOUS.*

2 c flour
1 tsp soda/salt
2 eggs
1/2 c butter
1/2-2/3 c sugar
2-3 tsp lemon flavouring/extract
500 ml plain Greek yogurt
couple squirts lemon juice
2 tsp vanilla bean paste
you can add some lemon zest if desired. I find it a little bitter.

glaze
lemon juice/sugar in equal amounts

Cream butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla, lemon, flavour, yogurt, and juice.
Add dry to wet, don't over mix.

Cook in 325 oven for approx 25 min or until done. Poke tops with fork, spoon a little bit of glaze on top.

I need to refine this a bit. It was lemony, but didn't have the POP of flavour I wanted. I think next time I will up the lemon juice in the batter. Also I will do a cooked glaze. Maybe a blend of icing sugar and lemon juice (and get fresh this time dammit!) cooked on the stove until blended and spooned over the muffins. That sounds better. I do love me a good muffin. Chris LOVES these with some raspberry jam spread on them.


In other non muffin related news.. well there isn't much actually. My knitting has slowed to a crawl as I am still mesmerized by video games which eats into my knitting time considerably. I still try to knit during my HORROR MOVIE DE JOUR PROJECT but sometimes I just have to snuggle dogs instead.

How could you not want to snorgle these faces?? They are being bed-sharks on the snuggle pit (our bed) and OMG SO CUTE I CAN'T BREATHE!! Wow. That just blorked out!

Ooh look! More hail! What a surprise. Or you know, not. July in Calgary (especially during the Stampede) is wacky weather time. I kinda like it. Even if this hail storm did cause my video game horse to get eaten by wargs or some such bullshit and made me swear off paying for mounts ever again and watching hail while playing a video game that can't be paused (Sacred 2 Epic Fail) and write giant run on sentences. I'm unsure if that made sense. But this is stream of consciousness here, go with it.

Lily was entranced by the hail. She loves the screen door (or as we call it, DTV=dog TV) and watches it all the time. Her and Pickles are amazingly hilarious together. I'll try to get some video of them soon.

Good thing our car already got paid out from the hail last year. Poor dimpled Jack.



*there is no brown sugar in this recipe.

Pictures of Lily...

Miss Leliana Wiggles Skywalker. Big name for a little wiggler. She came to live with us a week ago. She's a Bichon Shih Tzu, or as my Brother said, a Shitson (but only once. And it was totally my fault. I forgot to let them out) and she is 2. She has had a litter of pups, but is fixed now. She is very sweet and quiet (but when she does bark LOOK OUT! She has a DEEP VOICE!) and has assimilated right in. Her and Pickles are quite the good friends. They play together a few times a day and it warms up even my mouldy ol' black heart.

And the knitting! THE KNITTING!! I have been knitting up a storm, but have slowed to a crawl especially since it got hot and we have a few video games I CAN'T STOP PLAYING. Fly that nerd flag Karen!

See? I do not kid. the knitting has been awesome. It's hot here now. But I have a new screen door with an enormous screen, the breezes she let's in! It's lovely.

I only eat candy.....

Chris has a theory that I have been avoiding my blog because of the pictures of Max. Maybe he is right... so here's a post to push that off the map.

To tell the truth I have been avoiding all my blogs as I am having a lazy/not feeling funny/too little hours in the day even for me who doesn't do anything few weeks. I will now force the issue. You know it's getting bad when I'm not even taking pictures of my knitting. And I have done a TON of knitting. I've finished at least 4 or 5 shawls since I've shown any off. huh.

Pickles is being very very strange since Max died. He is very NEEDY. At least I think he's stopped looking for Max. I think. But he seems kinda scared to go outside by himself. This is a picture of him I just took hiding under my chair. We are actively looking for a puppy for a companion for him. But it's harder than you'd think, finding a dog. I miss Max more than I thought I would. More than I thought was possible. The unending rain didn't help.

This has been a sad week. Chris' Auntie died. She was very sick and in pain, and far too young. I wish I could have gotten to know her better than I did. She seemed clever, funny and very caring. I'm so sad for my MIL. This has been a rough time for her. Big loves to you Moms.

But it's time to push the maudlin bullshit, poor me stuff away now. The sun is finally out! I'll take pictures of my knitting and go run around the back yard with Pickles (doing the dog turd obstacle course) and feel better. Cause I have always got my gummi bears.

You move, lost and lonely..

Good Bye Maximilian J Scrufflesworth 3rd.com. You were the best a dog could be. I'll miss you always and forever. 

Max

1996-2011

Black Sheep, Come Home...

I'd like to welcome the newest additions to my desk, tiny cow and tiny deer. They are living on what Safeway calls (so aptly I must say) Green Balls. Seriously, that is what they were labeled as in the floral dept. I actually think they are some kind of moss or something as I've had it for 2 weeks and it shows no signs of dying yet. I have them cut very short and put into a wee glass bowl with tiny cow and deer grazing merrily on top. Wonder how long my black thumb will keep them going? Me too.

Knitting content!

Malabrigo lace and my first project with nupps. SUPER FUN. This is a pattern called Mimosa and I enjoyed it so much that I made another one. Right after. Cause I'm not weird or anything.

Same project, different yarn. Reclaimed cashmere I bought form Etsy. Lovely.

Punta space dyed merino lace yarn. I used a chart to knit this. That is amazing for me. AMAZING. I am usually terribly chart phobic. Go me!

More Malabrigo lace. Another Traveling Woman shawl. I sent the honeysuckle one to to my MIL so knit one for me to keep.

Knitpicks Chroma fingering weight. Nice enough yarn but it had 3 KNOTS IN IT! That were tied to different colours. An enormous pain in my arse and really put me off it. I have a shit ton more of it and don't really want to use it. :/

More Malabrigo, more nupps. I think I may have a problem here.....