Friday, March 14, 2014

please be gentle with this heart of mine........

So I am a stay at home um... not mom anymore. Stay at home dog mom? Stay at home lady of leisure? Housewife? Unemployed by choice? Lucky and blessed I know but still searching for a way to describe who I am without being glib. Or maybe I should be all fuck it! Glib is the new black. I am a dying species I feel like though. My lovely nexty (our next door neighbour who is awesome) works from home. I have pals who have little kids who are SAHMs but only know one other woman who is in a position like me and we aren't super close (but if  you are reading this Hi!!! Come over for tea some time soon!) and she does lots of lovely traveling while I pretty much stay at home.

I have found that since the "pain"* (as a friend calls it) kicked me in the teeth, I don't have the gumption to go out like I used to. I don't have the energy or the desire to socialise like I used to. I don't want to go out much at night like I used to. I don't drink or party like I used to. I'm not who I used to be. It's a paradigm shift in my core.

World English Dictionary
paradigm shift
— n
a radical change in underlying beliefs or theory
[C20: coined by T.S. Kuhn (1922--96), US philosopher of science]

I do have a my BFF's who I see every Saturday (except when we are traveling or something world shaking intervenes) who keep me sane. I have people I connect with on the internets, and of course my gorgeous husband who I love pretty much every minute with. But I am a STAY AT HOME.


Anonymous said...

Me too. I like it. I feel like having a career but it will be from home and 85% fun. Life is too short to hate what I do for 10 hours a day. SAH!!

Heather said...

I totally know what you mean. So awkward when you a forced into small talk and asked, what do you do? The boys have all left home, so I can't even say that - I just tell people I do lots of things and change the subject. It's stupid how not having a title makes me feel small, but it does. You're the only one I know in the same-ish position too. And really aside from not having a title, I love, love not being a stay at home wife.
I am finding myself being quite a recluse too. I am happy to comment on blogs and Facebook posts, send emails and texts, but I am also happy to stay home with my sewing machine and my pugs (and my husband of course). I don't seem to have the energy to be social anymore. Maybe it's an aging thing, or maybe I am just being more honest with myself.
We should definitely have a tea one of these days! I am sorry for all your pain! And I am sorry it's taken me so long to get back to your blog!