Friday, January 03, 2014

My heart beats so, it scares me to death....

I can't believe I have ignored you for so long. This year seems to have dripped by in a swirl of non things. I did almost make it a whole calendar year with a death, but nope. One of my oldest friends didn't make it out the year. A fallen brother in arms, gone too young. A reminder of that black dog, and a call to shore up the walls. I'll miss you dear Jeff, your quiet sweet soul that hurt too often. And another dear friend lost one of her kitties last night. Sadness taints so much happiness. We worried for our Pickle dog all this winter, he is afflicted with newly found arthritis (or arfritits!) and a slowdown that comes with age. Despite what our vet said we have found that baby aspirin is helping the most.

As for me, oh fuck, about me. I am the fattest I have ever been. With no real noticeable diet change (aside form some holiday noshings) I have plumped up. I used the scale yesterday and all it made me do was think about the Smash the Scale project. And maybe cry a little bit. I have better clothes, better fashion (ha!) sense and a better handle on things than when I was thin. But I struggle. All awake/aware women do. I tell myself this in fits and starts.

New Years Resolutions? Stretch more. Yup. I do hope you all had a happy whatever it is you celebrate. And that Shiva the god of death stays the fuck away for another year. xxoo

1 comment:

christine said...

Stay the hell away from Karen's circles, Reaper. You have been warned.

As a lifelong layabout and enemy of health in general, I know it was the 2+ years of long walks every 2 or 3 days while listening to podcasts that made possible the transition into actual exercise. If there are things that you love and are fuelled by that can be found in audio form (books, podcasts, iTunes University classes on anything you find interesting, motivational TED talks, blue comedy albums - I can burn you a kabillion of them) walking is seriously the easiest way to edge into an active life. I don't know what you can handle with your fibro, but the only costs are good shoes for your feets and SNOW PANTS because you gots to be toasty, that's essential. So toasty it's like Hawaii in there. Changes for me were gradual like glacial slow, but time is going to pass anyway.

It's all cyclical. I remember you being my motivation to get there. Tag team!